Out of college, I lost my support network and turned to toxic relationships to quiet my feelings of loneliness. It took me years to untangle myself from one man in particular. He was everything that the movies and romance stories describe: older, wise, attentive, attractive, strong, always available, exciting, loved to dance, mysterious and... controlling.
As I see romantic stories unfolding, I notice the unhealthy aspects of those relationships and wonder why they look so desirable. It’s delightful to be high on love, but the feeling doesn’t last or it gets administered like a drug. It becomes harder and harder to get the same high.
It is not fun to live on a rollercoaster of romance all the time.
I was living a dream in my ultimate romance. Looking back I can recognize that I enjoyed my time with my toxic ex, but didn’t like myself in relationship with him. I ignored my priorities, became a bad friend and only thought about the next time I would connect with him. I considered myself one of the most confident women I knew, yet I chose a relationship that stripped a lot of that confidence away. One comment from him about how I needed to lose weight and I became frustrated with my body, lost 30 pounds and developed an eating disorder that endangered my health.
I help women find the confidence that recognizes unhealthy relationships, to meet their own needs, achieve the careers they want, and choose relationships that support, respect, and inspire them.