Hi, I'm Alexis, an assertiveness coach and founder of The Confidence Society based in Portland, OR.  
I have always wanted to empower women. As a teenager, I was big chested and suffered through the terrors of unruly underwire. One day, I got fitted at Nordstrom’s with my mom and I discovered the glories of a properly fitted bra. At that moment, I wanted to become a bra saleslady and help women find bras that actually fit. (I never did find work at a bra shop, although I applied once during my college years.) I wanted to help women feel comfortable and confident in their bodies.
I started helping friends and classmates develop body confidence early on. In high school, I modeled confidence and inspired my classmates to take charge of their bodies. I took multiple friends to Planned Parenthood to get contraception when they didn’t feel comfortable asking their own doctor. I was very lucky. My parents were open and honest about sexuality and where I could access contraception. They were very clear with me that my life mission was to leave this world with, “no unwanted babies, and no diseases.” I wanted the same for my friends.
While in college, at Portland State University, I became passionate about improving the sex education programs available. I felt women and girls were missing key pieces of information about their bodies and their right to say no. Today, the internet offers a lot of advice on these subjects, but our culture still makes women feel pressured to please and at fault for abuses they suffer.
Out of college, I lost my support network and turned to toxic relationships to quiet my feelings of loneliness. It took me years to untangle myself from one man in particular. He was everything that the movies and romance stories describe: he was older, wise, attentive, attractive, strong, always available, exciting, loved to dance, mysterious and... controlling.
As I see romantic stories unfolding, I notice the unhealthy aspects of those relationships and wonder why they are made look desirable. It is not fun to live on a rollercoaster of romance. It’s delightful to be high on love, but the feeling doesn’t last or it gets administered like a drug. It becomes harder and harder to get the same high. Drama is fun to watch, but not to participate in. I’ve come to recognize people who don’t know how to live drama free and learned that I don't want to be one of them. 
I was living a dream in my ultimate romance. Looking back I can recognize that I enjoyed my time with my toxic ex, but didn’t like myself in relationship with him. I ignored my priorities, became a bad friend and only thought about the next time I would connect with him.  I considered myself one of the most confident women I knew, yet I chose a relationship that stripped a lot of that confidence away. One comment from him about how I needed to lose weight and I became frustrated with my body, lost 30 pounds and developed an eating disorder that endangered my health.
I want to help women find the confidence that recognizes unhealthy relationships. I want to help women meet their own needs, achieve the careers they want and choose relationships that support, respect and inspire them.
I graduated from Portland State University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology and minors in French and Gender and Sexuality Studies. In 2015, I trained as a life coach at Coach Training World in Portland, OR. I’ve received over 250 hours of training while volunteering for The Portland Women’s Crisis Line and the Portland Police Bureau's GirlStrength program, a holistic approach to self defense and violence prevention classes for girls 10-17 yrs.  I've also taught Zumba Fitness. In addition to confidence coaching, I am an Official Instructor of Vibrant Voice Technique
When I’m not coaching, I love to dance Swing, Blues, Argentine Tango, and share the latest research about self-confidence building skills through storytelling and vocal performance. Over the years I have created, performed in, and produced nine cabaret shows and a one-woman play. The play includes humorous dating stories, my struggles in a toxic relationship, binge watching Netflix, cookie and ice cream addictions, avoidance shopping, accepting my emotions, believing I am worthy of my dreams, and finding the courage and resources to follow them. I am currently writing a book.
I look forward to connecting with you. I want you to feel…
and most of all confident. 
Welcome to The Confidence Society. I'm glad you're here. I look forward to working together.

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