Hi, I'm Alexis, assertiveness coach and founder of The Confidence Society.
I have always wanted to empower women. As a teenager, I was big chested and suffered through the terrors of unruly underwire. One day, I got fitted with my mom and I discovered the glories of a properly fitted bra. At that moment, I wanted to become a bra saleslady and help women find bras that actually fit. I wanted to help women feel comfortable and confident in their bodies.
While in college, at Portland State University, I became passionate about improving the sex education programs available. I felt women and girls were missing key pieces of information about their bodies, their right to say no, and why they deserve to feel safe not just be safe. Today, the internet offers a lot of advice on these subjects, but our culture still makes women feel pressured to please and at fault for abuses they suffer.
Out of college, I lost my support network and turned to toxic relationships to quiet my feelings of loneliness. It took me years to untangle myself from one man in particular. He was everything that the movies and romance stories describe: older, wise, attentive, attractive, strong, always available, exciting, loved to dance, mysterious and... controlling.
As I see romantic stories unfolding, I notice the unhealthy aspects of those relationships and wonder why they look so desirable. It’s delightful to be high on love, but the feeling doesn’t last or it gets administered like a drug. It becomes harder and harder to get the same high.
It is not fun to live on a rollercoaster of romance all the time.
I was living a dream in my ultimate romance. Looking back I can recognize that I enjoyed my time with my toxic ex, but didn’t like myself in relationship with him. I ignored my priorities, became a bad friend and only thought about the next time I would connect with him. I considered myself one of the most confident women I knew, yet I chose a relationship that stripped a lot of that confidence away. One comment from him about how I needed to lose weight and I became frustrated with my body, lost 30 pounds and developed an eating disorder that endangered my health.
I help women find the confidence that recognizes unhealthy relationships, to meet their own needs, achieve the careers they want, and choose relationships that support, respect, and inspire them.
I graduated from Portland State University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology and minors in French and Gender and Sexuality Studies. In 2015, I trained as a life coach at Coach Training World in Portland, OR and received my certification from the International Coaching Federation. I've worked with women's crisis organizations and police bureaus on violence prevention and self-defense programs for young women and girls, GirlStrength. In addition to confidence coaching, I am an official instructor of Vibrant Voice Technique.
When I’m not coaching, I love to dance Swing, Blues, Argentine Tango, sew my own clothes, and sing.
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