How to emotionally recover from failure

conflict May 12, 2022

I failed. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I did my best, but I still failed. I follow @chaninicholas and she warned of Mercury Retrograde arriving: “leave nothing to chance.” I thought I was covered, but I wasn’t.

I felt bad for inflicting chaos on others. I made all the apologies, and righted the wrongs, but I still felt awful. I searched through the worked I’ve been doing emotionally. What about myself do I want to believe in this situation?

It’s okay to not be perfect.
I get to make mistakes.
You are worthy of love “Period!”
We are all human.

I felt like my logic and thoughts about the situation were kind and sound, but I still felt physically awful: walking about with slumped shoulders and head hung.

I needed a failure bow. I learned about this from a TedTalk by Matt Smith
It's a physical action you can take to change the way your body is reacting to failing. I use it when I can't stop thinking about something I've done wrong.

1. Hold your hands above your head in a surrender pose

2. Make as big a grin as you can muster, showing all your teeth

3. Say, “thank you, I failed.”

The bigger the fail, the bigger the failure bow. I have used it many times. Sometimes big, sometimes small. If driving and ruminating about something, I point one finger on each hand up from the steering wheel, grin, and announce “thank you, I failed.” You can also do the finger point under your desk, out of sight of prying eyes, with a grin and a whisper. This is for you not an audience.

It helps me move on. Next time you’re feeling disappointed in yourself give it a try!

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