I’m trying out a new person in my life. So far he seems amazing in all the important ways. However, the other day he made a comment that reminded me of my toxic ex. It triggered me more than I wanted it to. My instincts told me to run away as fast as I could, “do not repeat the past!” This is the first and only red flag. This feeling settled itself in my gut and began to poison my body until I was ready to take action. There are a number of ways I could act. I could run, as my fight, flight or freeze dictated. I could decide to continue to suffer or, in an act of bravery, I could talk to the person about it. 

In order to talk to the person, I would need to know exactly what was going on with me. In telling him, I would have to be clear, honest and not accuse him of anything. His behavior was not my favorite, but it wasn’t the problem. The problem was my reaction. I did not want to feel this way, especially about this person, who had done nothing to...